Holy carp, it’s been a while! Which in itself should tell you a lot about how things are going in the aftermath of the Kickstarter campaign (and in the present of the pandemic).
What I’ve been working on
I’ve been writing when I can, mostly working on The Beautiful Decay (Tombtown Book 2), but in bits and pieces in-between more urgent projects. My TTRPG is looking close to finished, which has been absolutely consuming my days and nights. I have the one-shot adventure for that also almost finished, which means I am almost almost done with the TTRPG.
Then there’s Kickstarter fulfillment, which is satisfying but it’s also … bitty. There’s a lot of waiting around for things to be finished — proof-reading, surveys, that sort of thing — and lots of fitting in bits and pieces as and when they arrive. Which … isn’t incredible when you’re trying to get into a good headspace for writing.
I wonder if this is something I am always going to struggle with. Switching between publisher-mode and writer-mode is not something I excel at. But I also … wouldn’t want to give up self-publishing. I find it incredibly satisfying and I love the level of control I have over it. It’s just another thing to add to the list, I suppose.
Feeling insecure
I continue to have nothing in the audiobook narration arena, which means my main income is gone. We’re scraping by with just Joh’s income and what I get through ko-fi and book sales, but it’s a reminder of how very much I appreciate everyone who supports me on ko-fi. Even making that tiny bit extra feels significant. None of you need to worry about us — we’re absolutely fine, we’re paying bills and putting food on the table — but losing my income was a blow for sure.
Oddly the thing I feel the most insecure about with not having audiobook work this year isn’t the lack of money (though we absolutely could use it). It’s that creeping sense of invalidation. That when someone asks me what I do for a living, I have to say writer, and they will disdain me for it. Honestly they disdained me for the narration, but at least I was making money on that. Now … I don’t know. It’s not right to feel insecure about it — nobody’s value ought to be measured by their income — and yet I know I will be judged and therefore I cannot quite let go of the insecurity. Maybe one day, I will make enough to feel secure. Even if it was just tickling minimum wage, I would be ecstatic.
But mostly, I just try to put it from my mind.
Creativity from an unexpected source
In a surprise turn of events, I’ve started working on a short story which came to me fully-plotted … from a dream? Here’s the update I made on the Corva’s Creative Nest discord about it:
Okay in a strange twist of events, I had a dream that actually provided a full and useful story format?
I had the dream before I woke up, woke up, then decided to nap a bit and explore the dream idea a bit further with a more awake mind and iron out the details. Then I woke up properly, wrote it out in my notes, and it all makes sense.
This never happens for me. I am not a writer who gets inspired by dreams. My dreams are mostly nightmares, and nothing I want to revisit. I have always envied writers who have good and useful dreams. But now I actually had one too.
I’m going to write this out. It’s a strange sort of fantasy romance short story. I might even get started on it today.
Weird, right?
Ko-Fi supporters can expect to get any short stories I write at least a month before I publish them or make them available on my website. So look forward to this one, I guess!
Corva’s Creative Nest Discord
And I’ve already mentioned this, but the Corva’s Creative Nest discord is now launched! It’s currently private for ko-fi supporters only and there’s only a handful of us there, but it’s a place to chat, share writing prompts and pet pictures, and I post ‘writing life’ style casual updates there very regularly. I’m also planning a small event there soon, so if discord is your kind of thing and you support me on ko-fi, please do message me and I’ll get you an invite!
So far it’s very small and very quiet but also extremely lovely. I feel so weird about having a chatroom that is basically … about me? And my writing? But everyone has been super kind about it so far and it means a lot.
So! That’s all from me for now. I’m an insecure mess but I’m also getting a lot done. Look forward to seeing more books, more short stories, and more streams from me soon! And if you’re a ko-fi supporter, don’t be shy if there’s anything you’d like to see more of from me. I always appreciate suggestions and hearing what people have enjoyed. 🙂
With thanks and awkwardness,
V